Yesterday I wrote that I’m scared sometimes, scared of not being successful and scared to fail. There’s a lot that I’m scared of, wonder about, or doubt. Sometimes I even doubt if this “spiritual path” is right for me, but I also feel I can’t go back to “normal society”.
At times when I don’t feel well, I wish I could go back to “normal society”: back to a regular job, a regular income, knowing that you have enough money to pay your rent, your groceries and to go out in the weekends and to knowing what the coming week holds for you. Back to a safe, secure environment, where things flow in a gentle, continuous pace, without any big surprises or ups and downs. Working on weekdays, relaxing and enjoying yourself in the weekends. It seems so simple. Yet I know that this is not what makes me happy.
Being on this “spiritual path” has been an intense journey. Working through lots of layers and layers uncovering my true self. Going back to my feelings and emotions after years of tuning or numbing them down with distractions, alcohol, parties and a strong, logical mind. Allowing my sensitivity to get to the surface again and learning how to deal with this. Facing lots of old fears and pains and facing the opinions of others along the way. Doubting many, many times if I want to continue, if I want to move forward, or if I not rather go back to “normal society”. Back to hiding myself, putting back the layers of protection, as it seems so much easier than to feel all these long-lost emotions and sensations.
Where for some people “normal society” feels perfectly fine, in these times of change a lot of people – just like me – start to feel that they can no longer play their part in “normal society”. They try to keep up with all expectations at work, at home, in their social life and regarding their own happiness, but it’s too much. People are trying to suppress their own needs, their own longings, their own dreams, their own sensitivity, just to fit in. But at some point they will break down and end up with a burnout or physical and/or emotional complaints.
I know that “normal society” is not right for me, just like many “spiritual paths” aren’t right for me either. So I go my own way, following and creating the path of my heart with the help of many who have gone before me and many who stand beside me. And I’m ready to be of help to those who want to follow and create their own path as well!
If you feel you have been giving to much and you can’t hold it much longer, take time to rest. Allow yourself to slow down and to find your own way in life. Know that you don’t have to live up to other people’s expectations, instead you can be an example of how to live life in a different way. Know that many people feel just like you and they can use some inspiration. Know that you’re not alone, and you don’t need to do it all alone, we are here to help each other.
And even though the “spiritual path” or path of your heart might not always be the easiest way, I can promise you: it’s worth it! Doing that what makes your heart sing, what makes you light up is worth every step of the way of uncovering and releasing, as it will only make you feel better. You can do it! And if you need my help, you know where to find me.
PS: I’m starting with sharing how to open to channel and how to practice Transformational Healing! Beginning of April in Holland (in Dutch) – find out more in the events on my Facebookpage.