Yesterday I wrote that I’m scared sometimes, scared of not being successful and scared to fail. There’s a lot that I’m scared of, wonder about, or doubt. Sometimes I even doubt if this “spiritual path” is right for me, but I also feel I can’t go back to “normal society”.

At times when I don’t feel well, I wish I could go back to “normal society”: back to a regular job, a regular income, knowing that you have enough money to pay your rent, your groceries and to go out in the weekends and to knowing what the coming week holds for you. Back to a safe, secure environment, where things flow in a gentle, continuous pace, without any big surprises or ups and downs. Working on weekdays, relaxing and enjoying yourself in the weekends. It seems so simple. Yet I know that this is not what makes me happy.

Being on this “spiritual path” has been an intense journey. Working through lots of layers and layers uncovering my true self. Going back to my feelings and emotions after years of tuning or numbing them down with distractions, alcohol, parties and a strong, logical mind. Allowing my sensitivity to get to the surface again and learning how to deal with this. Facing lots of old fears and pains and facing the opinions of others along the way. Doubting many, many times if I want to continue, if I want to move forward, or if I not rather go back to “normal society”. Back to hiding myself, putting back the layers of protection, as it seems so much easier than to feel all these long-lost emotions and sensations.

Where for some people “normal society” feels perfectly fine, in these times of change a lot of people – just like me – start to feel that they can no longer play their part in “normal society”. They try to keep up with all expectations at work, at home, in their social life and regarding their own happiness, but it’s too much. People are trying to suppress their own needs, their own longings, their own dreams, their own sensitivity, just to fit in. But at some point they will break down and end up with a burnout or physical and/or emotional complaints.

I know that “normal society” is not right for me, just like many “spiritual paths” aren’t right for me either. So I go my own way, following and creating the path of my heart with the help of many who have gone before me and many who stand beside me. And I’m ready to be of help to those who want to follow and create their own path as well!

If you feel you have been giving to much and you can’t hold it much longer, take time to rest. Allow yourself to slow down and to find your own way in life. Know that you don’t have to live up to other people’s expectations, instead you can be an example of how to live life in a different way. Know that many people feel just like you and they can use some inspiration. Know that you’re not alone, and you don’t need to do it all alone, we are here to help each other.

And even though the “spiritual path” or path of your heart might not always be the easiest way, I can promise you: it’s worth it! Doing that what makes your heart sing, what makes you light up is worth every step of the way of uncovering and releasing, as it will only make you feel better. You can do it! And if you need my help, you know where to find me.

PS: I’m starting with sharing how to open to channel and how to practice Transformational Healing! Beginning of April in Holland (in Dutch) – find out more in the events on my Facebookpage.

Sometimes I’m scared…
Sometimes I’m scared that I will never be successful with my business.
Sometimes I’m scared…
Sometimes I’m scared that I will never be able to make a living with doing what I love most.
Sometimes I’m scared…
Sometimes I’m scared that I’m not doing enough to make it work.
Sometimes I’m scared…
Sometimes I’m scared that I’m trying to hard to make things work.
Sometimes I’m scared…
Sometimes I’m scared that no matter what I do, it’s never gonna work out.
Sometimes I’m scared…
Sometimes I’m scared that this business too shall fail, just like the previous ones.
Sometimes I’m scared…
Sometimes I’m scared that I’m not made to be in this business-world.
Sometimes I’m scared…
Sometimes I’m scared that my dream will never become reality.
Sometimes I’m scared…
Sometimes I’m scared that I will give up 1 step before the “finish line”.
Sometimes I’m scared…
Sometimes I’m scared that people will judge me when I fail.
Sometimes I’m scared…
Sometimes I’m scared that I will succeed and don’t know how to handle that.
Sometimes I’m scared…
Sometimes I’m scared that people will judge me when I succeed.
Sometimes I’m scared…
Sometimes I’m scared, but I keep believing, keep trusting, keep surrendering.
Sometimes I’m scared, but I will do whatever it takes to make things work.
Sometimes I’m scared, but I won’t give up on my dream.
Sometimes I’m scared, but I try not to fail nor suffer under any success.
Sometimes I’m scared, but I won’t let judgement of others slow me down.
Sometimes I’m scared, but I keep going, giving my all to follow my path. Trusting, surrendering, letting go, believing, having faith, trying again and again, until I’ll make it.

But sometimes I’m scared…

Abundance is a mindset – I already knew, but this morning I can feel it in everything!

Last night before going to sleep, after being inspired by some Abraham-Hicks videos, I decided to set my thoughts on positive, abundant experiences. And this morning upon waking up, the first thing I focused my thoughts on (don’t let anything else get in between!) was abundance again, overflowing abundance in every area of my life. I continued with my morning practice (finally started again after weeks of intending to do so) and then started my day as normal, only I realised very quick that my experience wasn’t as normal. I noticed so much more things to be grateful for, I felt so much more gratitude for all that I have…

I became aware how good it feels to start my day like this, how happy I am that the sun is shining. I realised how grateful I am to be in Ibiza, to have my balcony door wide open while it is February and how much I enjoy the fresh air that comes in. I smiled because there wasn’t anything I needed to be doing, no rush, no need to worry about anything, I could just be fully present in the moment. I felt how much I’ve changed, how different my life is from the life I used to live in Holland and how grateful I am for all of this. I felt the connection with my Guides and Angels and how happy I am that I can now consciously work with them and share this with others.

I switched on my phone and got to listen to some messages of my boyfriend, which made me even happier! I am so grateful for our connection, for everything that we can share, for how he treats me and how he makes me feel. I feel loved in a way that I never experienced before and I’m not afraid to love him as much as I do, as it feels right. I am so grateful for everything I learn from him and how he gives me space to grow and evolve with and next to him. I’m grateful that something that once seemed like a dream has come true and is even better than I could have ever imagined.

I went downstairs to have breakfast and felt such gratitude for all that I could choose from and for the vibrant colors of the fruit I decided to eat. The taste of fresh fruit with the sun on my skin, the amazing view… I can continue for ages. It’s all just so wonderful – and this is my life! This is the life I created for myself, by keep following my heart, my guidance, my intuition. By keep believing, trusting, surrendering, even in times when nothing seemed to work out, when I felt I lost everything that was important to me and I felt it wasn’t worth it any longer. I kept going, hoping, trying to believe, to have faith and then always something beautiful would happen.

I realise more and more that choosing your vibration really attracts that what you want into your life. It’s not just words anymore, it’s not a believe, it’s reality. The life I’m living is the proof of the Law of Attraction, of “Ask and it is given”, of “Follow your heart/bliss”. We can “have it all” – we just have to choose it.

Choose your vibration, choose your mindset and you will receive! Life is beautiful!

My Healings have had many names, it started with ‘Reiki’ years ago. Soon that changed into ‘Healing’ as what I did was more than giving energy as you’re supposed to do in a regular Reiki session. After learning new techniques, I changed it into ‘Reconnective Chakra Healings’ at I was working with the chakras and mainly reconnecting people back to their hearts. When that didn’t feel sufficient anymore, I changed it to ‘Multi Dimensional Healing’, as that was the name my teacher used for it. But still it didn’t feel right…

This morning I received clear guidance: it should be ‘Transformational Healing’ and the main focus is to “heal the Healer”. I am here to help, support and awaken further the ones that are already on their path of service, but need help to break through the blockages that prevent them from fully stepping into their power. This can be through reconnecting them to their hearts, clearing out dysfunctional patterns, reactivating and realigning the chakras, removing any dark energies or anything else that is needed to reach their full potential.

The sessions are channeled, in full trust that whatever comes through in the moment is exactly what is needed. This makes every session unique, which makes it hard to explain how a session looks like. Most of the times it’s a combination of working on and around the body while you are seated, using my hands to energise, activate, clear and realign the chakras, using sounds to shift frequencies, channeling messages to explain the process and support the Healing and allowing anything that needs to come through to be seen, heared, felt or experienced.

If you feel you are ready to shine, but something is holding you back, this Healing is for you. Even when you’re not aware of your ‘path of service’, this Healing will take you there. As no matter how the session looks like, there’s always a transformation and it will bring you exactly what you need!

Are you ready?

I wrote a blog about releasing my resistance to change yesterday, but I’m also aware of how much was already changing before that. The way I see and experience the world is changing and with that everything is changing. As I get more and more in tune with the energy all around me, I become more sensitive to the smallest details in this energy. My connection is changing, my channeling is changing, my Healings are changing.

I already stopped calling my sessions ‘Reconnective Chakra Healings’ as I felt the name was no longer sufficient. Now I call them ‘Multi Dimensional Healings’, which has a much bigger range of possibilities. It’s multi dimensional as I work with energy, on different kind of levels/dimensions. And the focus is not only on the chakras anymore. As I learn to step aside more and to really be a pure, open channel, different things have started to come through. While it’s not in the name anymore, I still help people to reconnect – to their hearts, their intuition, their purpose and the Universe!

It seems like every session has been completely different (even more different than they were before – as no session was ever similar to another), some still working on the chakras, but in a different way than before. Some sessions came with options my client could choose from and some sessions were in the form of really working together with my client throughout the whole session. A few were in the form of an initiation: to a new path and a new name. Some have been pretty physical, with almost a form of massage or acupressure, others completely in the energetic realm, without a lot of touch. Some came with a channeling, others without. One was even almost a full hour of channeling! No matter the form, they were all deep, profound, transformational Healings that I love to be the conduit of.

As that is what I am: a vessel or channel for the energies that want to work through me, always for the highest and greatest good of my client and of all. The more I step aside, the more I allow to be a pure conduit for what needs to happen, the more special the session. It’s not me that decides how the session needs to be, or what would be best for my client. I allow the Universe to work through me by opening myself up to the highest possible guidance and trust that whatever comes through is exactly what my clients needs!

I’m very grateful that I’ve learned to tap into this Universal flow of Healing energy and that I can be of service in this way. It feels so natural to me and it’s so beautiful to see the change in my clients between the moment they walk in and the moment they leave. I love my work!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

PS: if you feel like I can be of assistance to you in breaking through old patterns, letting go of dysfunctional beliefs and releasing anything that no longer serves you, I am here for you. I love helping you to reconnect in every possible way and to support you in stepping back into your power. You are ready for the next step!

If I look back at my life, the past years have been all about change. I have changed! I’ve changed a lot. If I look back, I can hardly believe how much has changed over the past years, and especially the last year. The change started over 5 years ago, after I hit my head very hard at a iron wine bottle holder at the restaurant I was working at. I got a pretty nasty head concussion that took me weeks to recover from. A few months later I was still not feeling like I used to, and through a lot of beautiful synchronicities I ended up receiving my first Reiki session. In that session I felt so much! I was overwhelmed with emotions, I felt so much love, I felt ‘at home’. I felt as if I finally knew who I was again, after I had lost touch with my true nature.

The Reiki had opened me up to my feelings and emotions again, which I had been hiding away for years and the first days all I could do was cry. Tears kept coming and I felt out of touch with everything I did. I realised a lot of things in my life weren’t in alignment with my heart and I started making different choices. I remember how hard it was to make certain decisions, as it felt I let a lot of people down. I received a lot of help from my friends back then (as I was suffering from my concussion), partly for sustaining my business that I started, and now I realised I didn’t want to continue with that business. It almost felt like I betrayed them, but I knew I had to make the decision that felt right for me. So I quit. Luckily most of them understood.

The change started slowly (although quite drastically), but it has been speeding up over the years. And the past 2 years – also because I’m consciously accelerating my process – it goes faster than ever. Where I first was hiding myself, my feelings, my emotions, but mostly my ‘spiritual’ side, now it’s all in the open. But yesterday I realised there still was a resistance to change.

Since I moved to Ibiza a lot has changed, and I’ve lost quite some friends along the way. I feel more in touch with who I truly am, I feel more alive, more connected and more happy than ever, and I also made some beautiful new friendships. But losing old friends, or feeling people not understanding me is still very hard. As I have been bullied when I was young, there’s still a part of me that wants to be liked by everyone, that’s scared what might happen if people think I’m “different”. Consciously making decisions that set me apart from others feels like consciously choosing to be ‘the odd one out’. So sometimes I try not to be too different. After everything that already changed, to slow down a bit, so people can catch up with me.

Until I came to a realization yesterday: trying to play it small because of the people around me is not helping anyone. Trying to slow down for others, while I feel like I want to accelerate, grow and expand is not working. I know the only way I can truly be of help to others, is when I allow myself to fully embody everything that wants to work through me – and that is a lot. And after moving to Ibiza, becoming vegan, giving up my party/drinking lifestyle, starting to channel and changing my name (to name a few major changes), I want to take the next step as well. I don’t want to hold back in any way anymore, I don’t want to be anything less than I am, I want to fully embrace and embody all that I am! And even though I don’t fully know yet how this will look like, giving up the resistance to change is the first step. I am ready, bring it on!!

It’s time, sweet Sister, it’s time.
It’s time for you to rise, it’s time for you to reclaim your power. The power that lies within you, within every female walking upon Earth in this time.
It’s time, beautiful Sister, it’s time.
Feel that you are ready, feel that energy inside of you growing, glowing, waiting to fully shine!
It’s time, it’s time.
Stand up for yourself, acknowledge yourself for the beautiful, strong, powerful being that you are.
There is no need to suffer, there is no need to struggle, there is no need to search for something outside of you. All is within you, you had the power all along.
Realise that the Divine feminine is within you and embrace her. Let her out!
It’s time, dear Sister, it’s time!
Let yourself be seen, let yourself be heard, let yourself be all that you truly are!
It’s time to stop playing small, to stop being dependent, to stop being anything less than the wonderful Goddess that you are.
Rise, sister, rise! Shine, step up, show yourself! Embrace yourself, love yourself, be yourself.
I am here to help you, to guide you back to your true nature. Let the feminine inside you hear my message, feel my love and support. I am here to help you, it’s time!
Connect with me, call upon me any time you feel you need me. Any time you feel lost, insecure or scared, call upon me and I will be with you. Holding you, comforting you, loving you and helping you to feel your power within.
Connect with me to connect with your own inner powerful feminine, it’s time!
– Isis

Channeled by Ankhana Sofia, December 5th 2018

“The purpose of life is to enjoy every moment”. This seems simple and only logical, but are you really enjoying EVERY moment? Or just the moments that make you smile, that make you laugh, that make you feel good? Are you capable of enjoying EVERY moment, so also the moments that make you sad, that make you cry, that make you feel bad?

The goal of Vipassana meditation is to learn to be present, aware, without any judgement, in every moment. To not want more of the “good things” and less of the “bad things”. So you could say “to enjoy EVERY moment”.

3 months after my Vipassana I’m starting to get it, to not only understand it with my mind, but also to experience it in my life. To not try to only have happy moments, happy thoughts, but to be as present when I’m feeling sad or low and have “negative” thoughts.

Being present and not trying to avoid pain, sadness or fear becomes easier the more you do it. And then you realise that even in your “lows” there is a lot of beauty, a lot to learn, a lot to enjoy!

Even though my Vipassana experience was very intense and I didn’t enjoy it at all, I’m now very grateful for what I’ve learned there! I feel I’m getting closer and closer to “the purpose of life” and “to enjoy every moment”!

Last year around this time I brought my friend and spiritual teacher Solara An-Ra to the airport and on our way there we were talking about her Egypt trip that she was organising. I ask if there were still spots left on the trip, on which she answered: “No, it’s fully booked now. Why? Did you wanted to join?”. Well… I wanted to join, but I didn’t have the money for it, so I kinda gave up. Solara was very clear: “It’s too late now, everything is booked, even the internal flights. It’s not possible to join anymore.”. I dropped her off at the airport, we said goodbye and I drove home. On my way home I got a very strange feeling. I felt I really missed out on being on this trip to Egypt. It was so strong that I send Solara a voice message while I was driving (which I normally never do!) about my feeling, but that I understood it was too late now.

Coming back at Casa Solara where I was staying for the winter, I found a dead bird in front of the entrance to the house. A dead bird, with the wings spread open. No blood, no sign of a fight with a cat, and if the bird would have flown against the window, it wouldn’t have ended up here and especially not in this position. This position, with the wings spread, reminded me of Isis! Who is an Egyptian goddess, I knew that, but I didn’t know anything else about Egypt or their gods back then. I had to take a picture and send it to Solara, who by now was travelling, so she probably wouldn’t see my message any time soon. I didn’t mention anything about Isis, I just send the picture with a message like “look what I found when I got home!”.

That afternoon I received more signs about Egypt, through Facebook and even through a dating app! Egypt seemed to be everywhere all of the sudden, but I knew I was too late.

The next day we were meeting up with our weekly channeling group from the island. We were all recently trained by Solara to open to channel and we were practising together. Everyone would put in a question, the whole group would tune in and then who ever received a message would channel. The message could be for themself, or for others, just what came through in the moment. I asked if I needed to go to Egypt, as I was getting all these signs, but I knew there was no option of joining the trip with Solara anymore. The answer that came was VERY clear. It was the strongest energy that ever came through me so far, so strong it was quite scary and difficult to hold for my body. My whole body was shaking and a very powerful, masculine energy came through that spoke very intense and strong: I needed to be there on this specific trip, and I would find a way to be there.

Again I decided to share it with Solara, I sent her the recording of my channeling and asked her what she thought. The next day her reply came, the bird reminded her of Isis and she thought I was channeling an Egyptian frequency. She told me to ask Itzak to ask his guides when he would be back, and if they’d say I had to join, they would make it happen. Itzak is Casa Solara’s chef, who also lives there and who is an amazing channel. He supports Solara on a lot of her courses and they were organising this Egypt trip together. Itzak came home from his holiday that week and promised me to ask his guides. When I send him a message a few days later if he had asked his guides, his response was: “Yes and they said: ‘Yes… you were on the list from the beginning’.” So I was allowed to join, they would make it work!

I shared all of this with my parents and they were so sweet to help me with the finances, so I could go!! Lots of special things happened before the trip, intense channelings, beautiful messages and a last minute surprise. But I’ll save that for another time!

Now I just like to share that I’ll be going back to Egypt in 2019, with my own group! Egypt is calling me again, very strongly and I’ve received guidance about taking my own group. As I have a very strong connection to Isis, this trip will mainly focus around her. It will be a small group with limited spaces, so let me know if you want to be part of it, then I’ll put you on the list (with no obligations of course!). I’ll dive into it deeper over the coming weeks and will let you know more about this trip as soon as I know. For now I just want to share about this upcoming trip and call in all Isis-sisters that feel the connection to be part of this magical journey together!

PS: for now I have the feeling it will be end of March/beginning of April, but I’ll follow the guidance I receive in planning this trip!