As long as I can remember, I’ve always felt a fear to be different, to be an ‘outsider’. Not being able to fit in, not being ‘normal’. I think I’ve come to realise that I AM different – but I’m not the only one! I might not fit in ‘normal’ society, but there are many that don’t. Realising this, admitting this to myself, makes it a lot easier for me.
Still sometimes I feel misunderstood, and that hurts. But maybe because I’ve always tried so hard to be ‘normal’, people don’t see I’m different anymore… So I’m gonna try to explain how it is to be different, to feel different and to see and experience things in a different way. Maybe it will help! Not just for me, but for everyone who feels different and misunderstood.
I’ve been asked a lot why I don’t “just get a regular job”, the answer is: I can’t. Of course I’m physically able to work fulltime in a 9-5 job, but energetically I can’t. Being in a place with a lot of people asks a lot of me, being in a place with (a lot of) negativity also does. Working a regular job most of the times means both. Every negative comment or conversation has an effect on me and even the things unsaid are effecting me. Being constantly surrounded by negative influences just drains me and leaves me feeling empty, tired and unhappy.
“Everyone would love to sleep in, work part time and only do what they love”, probably yes, but it’s not a matter of choice. For me (and for a lot of highly sensitive people I know) it’s not that I don’t WANT to work full time, it’s not that I choose to do less than is ‘normal’. It is because my system is so sensitive it’s just much faster overworked. I know a lot of sensitive people that have (had) a burn out and I don’t want to end like that. I feel what my system is capable of to take in and at this moment I can’t do a full time job in a ‘normal’ workplace. And even a part time job would leave me with less energy than I need to work on my own business.
Being high sensitive is different, it can be very hard to function in a way that others see as ‘normal’. But it’s not that we don’t want to, it’s because our system just functions different. We feel, we sense so much more than others, that we get overloaded with impressions quite easily. Then we can do two things: keep trying to be ‘normal’ or listen to our system and be ‘different’. The first choice will always end up with feelings of failure, feeling exhausted, drained and unhappy (if not depressed) and in a lot of cases ends up in having a burn out. So not doing what is ‘normal’ isn’t always a real choice, for some people it’s a necessity. But ‘choosing’ to be different is still not easy, because being ‘normal’ is so much more accepted.
Hopefully this explains why it is so important for us to have the freedom to be different, because when we are truly in touch with our sensitivity and listen to our system, we are capable of so many beautiful things! So please try to keep an open mind of what is ‘normal’ and what is not and support people around you making different choices. It will not only help that person in finding their way, in the end everyone will benefit from it. Because when we are truly connected to our hearts, we can create magic!
I love this Sandra
Thanks Sarah! :)