Today was supposed to be the day I would leave the Netherlands and make my way to South of France to start my Camino de Santiago. But life had something different in store for me again…
These past months have been a crazy ride, with many changes and many adjustments in my plans. It seemed I had to be in the Netherlands for a while, which would never been my choice. I love Ibiza, it’s my home, but now I realise it has also become my comfort zone…
I needed to step out of it for a while to face some things I thought I had let go of a long time ago. Being in the Netherlands brings up a lot of ‘the old me’, which I left behind when I moved to the island and not long after changed my name.
I realise that my time here is all about integrating the ‘old me’ and the ‘new me’ – as of course in the end they’re 1! And I can only function properly when I embrace all of who I am and can be grateful for all of what I’ve learned. Both as Sandra and as Ankhana.
So where for a long time I felt I needed to get an official name change to have “Ankhana Sofia” added to my passport/legal name “Sandra Jörgens”, I now realise that was part of the ‘old me’ trying to prove myself to the world. The need to make “Ankhana Sofia” part of my legal name was only because in some way I felt I needed to have something official to show who I am.
The answer is – as always – much simpler: I just accept the fact that in my day-to-day life I use the name I feel resonates more with the person I am today, but in official places I’ll have to put down my passport name. It’s all good.
For now I stay a little longer in the Netherlands, discovering and integrating what I still have to learn. And as soon as possible I’ll go back to my favourite island, the place I long for, my home. Knowing that I’ll go back more whole, more complete, more me.
I am Ankhana Sofia Sandra Jörgens- proud of where I come from & proud of who I am today! ❤️❤️❤️