Author Archives: Ankhana

I proudly present… my new logo!

I was thinking of waiting to share it, as it would be “better” if I had everything else organised as well. My new web texts, the whole outline of my new direction, a clear explanation of it all… But I have decided I’m doing it differently this time! 😁

I have created this new logo myself and I’m very happy with it, so I love to share it with you and hear what you think? 🙏

Why a new logo? Because so much has happened and is currently shifting in me and my work, that I felt the old logo no longer resonates with me. I wanted something softer, ’rounder’ (as a feeling/sensation), more gentle and still balanced and centered. More feminine, but still powerful – and I love the result! 😍

Also I wanted to add “Reconnect & Recharge” to my logo, as I realised in a conversation with a friend recently (who told me I should practice more of what I teach – and she was so right!) that this is what I do in ALL that I offer, not just my retreats. And going through all the recent shifts in my own life, I experienced once again how important it is to stay connected and ‘charged’ and how easy you can loose your connection and end up feeling empty and drained.

So this is it… my new logo and the start of a new way of working (although not completely new, more an evolved way) – all focused to help you to “Reconnect & Recharge”, so you can be the best version of you!

More to follow soon… (or whenever I’m ready with the next steps haha, trusting my flow!)

Little effort…

Yesterday someone came to help me to take the bed apart that was in the bedroom of my new house. Even though I didn’t know the guy who came to help (he’s a friend of the owner of the bed), we worked together as a good team. I let him take the lead, tell me what to do and assisted where and how I could, which worked out really well.

This morning I realised this is one of my strengths, but also my weaknesses: I’m good at adjusting to any situation, offering help and support, while staying in the background and don’t ask too much attention for myself. Looking back I can see how this has evolved over the years.

It probably started when I was not liked that much by my classmates in primary school. Staying in the background and not drawing attention to me helped with not getting bullied as much. Later learning at home to help out even when I didn’t feel like it, being told “little effort, lots of joy” (“kleine moeite, groot plezier”) – it’s not that much effort for you, but it brings a lot of joy to another – certainly helped in enhancing the behaviour of putting someone else’s needs before mine. And when I started working in hospitality (as a waitress/hostess) it became even more enhanced, as “client is king”. Here I started to enjoy staying kind and helpful to even the rudest clients, so they would go home with a good feeling. And I would feel good as I did what I was supposed to do in my job, bringing hospitality into practice, even into the smallest details and to the rudest clients.

Still I love taking care of others, I love helping out, I love supporting and assisting where I can. Not only in my work (now supporting in the background of communication and of course helping and supporting through my healings, coaching, meditations and retreats), but also in all of my other relations. I’ve realised now that this strength becomes a weakness when I’m overdoing it, and I haven’t found the right balance yet.

Looking back at my recently ended love relationship, I can clearly see how I went into this role of giving, helping and supporting and placing myself in the background. And ending up losing myself. It’s not that my boyfriend expected me to do that, or even asked it from me, I did it without realising it all too much, until I felt out of balance, empty, tired from giving so much. I tried to ask for help (which I admit I’m not really good at) and tried to change it, but the balance was lost.

The thing was (and still is), now if I DON’T do something I know I can do to help or support someone else, I feel bad about it, maybe even guilty. As “little effort, lots of joy” – I could just do it, not a big deal for me, I know it will help the other and helping the other makes me happy as well. So adjusting this part in our relationship on my own didn’t really work. It looks like I’ve lost the balance somewhere along the way and it’s very difficult to really feel when I’m over-giving, because I love giving and helping so much, I truly do! So where is the balance? When do I say ‘yes’, when do I say ‘no’? Where and when do I offer my help? Or how long do I wait with asking someone (as I know it might be easier for them if I wait a little longer) to help me?

With a lot of things I don’t really mind if it goes one way or another, so I can always easily adjust to the other person. I’m happy to help, to make the other person feel good. But of course often I have a (slight) preference. So now I’m learning to become aware of the preference and to voice it, even to acknowledge it to myself is already a huge step! I’m becoming aware that I actually do have a preference and then I’m finding out how to express that to others. It’s an interesting journey!

I’m really curious to hear if you have a similar experience and how you are handling it! We can always learn from each other. Thanks!

PS: in the picture my new bed, which I put together all by myself, as of course I didn’t ask for help… Learning in progress!

Big, happy changes

I have some exciting news to share! But first I want to say: thanks so much for the massive responses and love I received (on Facebook) after my previous blog post, it really touched me!

So the last time I wrote is 2 days ago. Only 2 days! I was shocked when I checked it, it felt for me as a week haha…

Exactly 1 week ago, last Thursday, I went to have a look at a casita (small house) somewhere up in the north of the island. It was a lovely meeting with the Dutch lady that owns it, the casita was nice, but the location was quite far out and the casita was small.

As I only had 1 more week in Casa Solara (my old ‘home’ where I was so lucky to be able to rent a room in the meantime) and I didn’t want to share a house with a complete stranger, I was happy that at least I found something that was available, affordable and where I would have everything for myself.

To be honest, coming from a beautiful campo house with 3 big bedrooms and an amazing garden I really had to adjust to see myself living here. I know that on my own I can’t afford a campo house with 3 bedrooms, but the difference couldn’t be much bigger… Still I was grateful to know I had a place to go to.

2 days later I receive a message on Facebook from another Dutch lady, she has 2 rooms and a bathroom available. So the next day, last Sunday, I went to see it. This place was right in the area I want to live, the 2 rooms and bathroom looked good and they had lots of furniture I could use. This felt much better, a lot much more spacious, but it didn’t have a kitchen (I’d had to improvise one) and the family turned out to have 5 kids.

I really love cooking, so no kitchen (and no sink or anything) felt a bit weird, and I do love kids, but living with 5 of them next door…? I had to sleep on it. I came to the conclusion that, as I now only had 3 more days until I had to move out, I was grateful to have found something bigger and not so isolated. So I cancelled the casita.

On Tuesday night I could feel a sadness in me. Even though the place looked lovely and the family seemed really nice to me, I didn’t feel excited about my move. It felt as if I was trapped. I’d been looking on so many websites and Facebook groups for houses, I’ve been tagged in so many posts (thanks for all the help everyone!!), I received a lot of private messages with links to houses, but it seemed I had to move to a temporary place again, from which I wasn’t sure if I would feel at home.

Then yesterday (Wednesday) came… In the morning I still felt this sadness in me, knowing I had to move today and still not feeling really happy about it. I didn’t want to focus on it, as I knew it wouldn’t help me in any way, so I distracted myself with work. Then I received a message from another Dutch lady (so many Dutchies here haha) that I messaged with a few days before. When we were in touch before I told her my budget and it wasn’t enough for her place, but now she messaged me again saying she wanted to talk. So I called her.

It was a lovely conversation where she explained they just had a new 2 bedroom apartment in Cala Vadella, but because of code orange they couldn’t go there now and they wanted someone trustworthy to be in their house for now. If I could pay a little more than I first said, I could move in the next day!

She sent me the brochure of the house and it looked absolutely amazing!! Not in the place I was looking for (but on the other end of the island haha), but at least it felt as a place where I could settle in as it looked good, it had a kitchen, amazing views and no kids around. So I said YES! At least now for the next month I knew I’d be in a beautiful place and I had the time to look for something from the beginning of October.

That was already a lot to take in in 1 day, but the story continues…

I called one of my good friends on the island to share my story, as well as to tell her I would be in Cala Vadella – a place she really loves. I told her she could come over and visit, to see and experience it.

Then she said something I never expected… “Do you want to swap?”!

My friend just moved into a lovely place between San Carlos and Santa Eularia (my preferred area), on the 1st of August. She knew I really loved her place, as I went to visit the house with her for the first viewing. In fact, I was the one who saw it on Facebook and then sent it to her, as back then I didn’t feel I’d be ready to move out of our campo house by August 1st.

And now, just 1 month later, she offers me to leave her place with a year round contract in the area that I love, so she can move to a temporary place in an area I don’t really want to be. I couldn’t believe it!! I had to let that sink in and – even though it sounded amazing – feel if this was really what I wanted…

The house in Cala Vadella seemed really nice as well and everything was arranged, I’d move in there in less than 20 hours! Could I really change everything again, or did I wanted a month of beauty and quietness in Cala Vadella?

As I’m still trying to find my new way of navigating through my life, I needed some time to consider… But soon I realised this was it! I’d get an amazing 1 bedroom place that I can afford in an area I love and my friend would finally move to the place that she really loves!!!

So after checking with the owner of Cala Vadella (who was luckily so flexible to allow it and also be happy with this change, as my friend will stay there for the whole winter now), I got really excited! Where in the morning I was still dreading having to move, a few hours later I found the perfect place! (Or it found me haha)

In the evening my friend saw her landlady and she also agrees, so today I’m moving to my new home!! A perfect new start after the full moon last night – feeling super grateful!

🙏

I hope this story inspires you if you are feeling down at the moment… Know that everything can shift within a day! Keep believing, keep trusting. And if you have a difficult time to do that, just send out what you want and then distract yourself – let the Universe work its magic! All is well.

Breaking down & building up

I’ve been quiet here the last months, as a lot happened in my life. It felt to me as if my whole life was falling apart…

After the intense time of lockdown in Ibiza, I split up with my boyfriend, I left our beautiful campo house, work for my own business got quiet, my other work became a lot less, money got low and on top of that I started doubting my guides, my intuition, myself. As if I had lost my compass.

So here I was, nearly 36 years old, again without a man by my side, without a house, almost without work and money, no more trust in the future and no clue how to guide myself through it. I broke down… I didn’t know anymore who I was, what I wanted, let alone how to move in the right direction.

Talking with my friends and family sometimes only seemed to make it worse – more opinions, more ideas, more advice on what I could or should do. And one moment I could be sure I knew what I wanted, but then the next moment I would feel the opposite. I could make a strong, clear decision and doubt it the next minute.

Not being able to truly connect to my intuition or my guides made me feel lost. How could I make a decision if I didn’t feel or know what’s right? And after making my decisions based on my intuition and guidance for so many years and then ending up here, with nothing, was this really the way to go?!

The only thing I felt was that I needed time and space for myself. I needed to reconnect to ME, to feel and to know what it was that I truly wanted. I needed to rest, to be quiet, to be in nature, to go within, to nurture myself.

And now, slowly slowly, I start to feel something is building up again. After a few days of just not knowing and not wanting anything, I started to feel like cooking for myself again. Cooking is like a meditation for me, I really enjoy the process and putting the healthy food into my body afterwards makes me feel even better! (see picture)

With the cooking and healthy eating I could feel my energy coming back to life again as well. In the mean time synchronicities started to happen again, things that would come back to me through different events, conversations or something I read.

Slowly it becomes clear that I’ll be working in a different way, more connected with the Earth, the Universe, Source energy and my own Higher self – both in my personal life as in my work.

I’m not there yet, I’m just at the beginning of building up again, but I now know, feel and trust that things will work out again! And for that I’m grateful.

Everything might have fallen apart, but now I can see that was needed to re-arrange my ‘building blocks’ to create something new. I might be left with ‘nothing’ (at least in the physical sense), but I certainly learned a LOT and this will help me to create an even better version of my life!!

A massive thanks to everyone who supported me during these times, by coming over to Ibiza, by calling me, by listening to me, by asking me questions, by suggesting which options I could make, by allowing me to cry, to not know, to be indecisive, by giving me fresh veggies from the garden, by taking me out for dinner, by offering me your free online program, by just being there for me! You know who you are: THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU!!!

For now I’m still going to take it easy with myself, but soon I’ll be fully back on track, better than ever! Then I’ll also be sharing more about my new way of working, but first I’ll be taking care of myself. See you soon.

My first time in Ibiza…

4 years ago around this time of the Summer Solstice I was in Ibiza for the first time (with a dive into the sea at sunrise! – see pic). A good friend of mine was hosting a retreat and she needed help. At first I wasn’t sure if I should do it, as my budget was tight and it felt weird to take days off from work in Holland to work in Ibiza (instead of using them for having a holiday). But it turned out to be more like holiday than feeling like work! And even though I didn’t see much of the island in that week, as we mostly stayed at the villa where the retreat was – except for a few quick beach visits – but when I went back to Holland I knew it wasn’t the last time I visited the island. Never had I imagined to have quit my job and sublet my house 1,5 months later to follow my heart and try to work & live here on this magical island!! But I did…

Being back at work I realised I wasn’t happy and for a long time already I had this dream of living abroad. Having travelled much of the world, I knew I didn’t want to be too far away from my friends and family back home, so I had decided it would probably be Spain. And Ibiza just seemed like the perfect start.

The perfect start turned out to be quite a difficult start, as I wasn’t the only one trying my luck here in Ibiza. Many people are drawn to the island because of its special energy and especially people in the same workfield (healing) as me. Upon arrival I bought a tent, a mat and a sleeping bag at Decathlon and for €75 I had my ‘house’ for the coming weeks. I thought it would be only a matter of a few days before finding a job with my experience in restaurants, childcare and healing work, but I didn’t have much luck. I did work somewhere as a volunteer in exchange for living for a week, but the amount of work wasn’t worth the exchange. So I was quickly back at the campsite.

I remember one moment when I was laying in my tent somewhere in those first few weeks and feeling completely lost. I didn’t know what to do, I felt completely alone and missed the people I loved. Most of all I missed the feeling of being surrounded by a warm family, sharing food, feeling at home. I cried out to my angels that I couldn’t do this any longer… I believe the next day I started chatting with a few guys that were living on the campsite for a while as well and only a few days later we were cooking and eating together. I really had to laugh when one of the guys said that we were like ‘a family’. A little sign from the Universe that I was supported.

Those first weeks went with lots of up and downs, enjoying the beauty of the island, but also having difficulties finding a job and home. Until the moment I ran out of money, I had a fight with the guy I was seeing and I still didn’t have a job or a normal home (and I was DONE sleeping in my very small tent!). I called my parents that evening, feeling completely empty, I hadn’t succeeded to manifest my dream. There was 1 last thing I needed to finish on the island and then I would go to mainland Spain if I could be a volunteer there or I would simply just come home. I had tried and I had failed.

The next day I went to see someone I worked for a few days, to say goodbye and finish what I had promised her. While being there she received a text message and immediately said it was for me. I had a look and I knew she was right. A Dutch girl was leaving the island and needed replacement for her job in taking care of an elderly Dutch lady. The work was part time and came with a house, a car and some money… I contacted the girl and got the job! So that was the end of my time at the campsite and the start of my – now almost 4 years – Ibiza adventure.

It hasn’t always been easy, but I’m SO grateful that I’ve listened to my heart to come to Ibiza that first time 4 years ago and that I’m still here. Life has been a pretty interesting journey ever since, but I wouldn’t want to have missed one second of it! (or maybe just a few haha)

I’m still in LOVE with this beautiful, magical island that I can call home. Thank you Izaja for asking me to help you at that retreat 4 years ago, thank you to all the wonderful people that made my life here even more interesting and thank you Ibiza for being my home. I’m ready for more!

PS: I love sharing my love for the island with you during my Reconnect & Recharge retreats. You can book now for end of July or end of August. For more info click here.

Spiritual & practical

As you might have noticed after seeing some of my previous posts, I am reading “A New Earth” from Eckhart Tolle currently. An amazing book, that’s giving me many insights about the way our ego functions and how we can be more ‘rooted into Being’.

The other day my eye fell on one of the books in our studio, called “Results – think less, achieve more” (author: Jamie Smart). We recently found this book in a pile of books that was left at the trash bins (this is one of the .. in Ibiza, people leave good stuff outside of the trash containers for other people to be picked up) and decided to take it home with us, along with some other books with interesting titles. We didn’t read any of them so far, but now this book caught my attention. I started reading the back and the first few pages and I couldn’t help but notice how much this book was similar to “A New Earth”. It talks about a lot of the same principles, but instead of a ‘spiritual’ book, it’s a very practical book.

For me it’s no coincidence that I picked up this book now and started reading it next to A New Earth. As I come from a very practical background, not believing in ‘all this spiritual stuff’, I love to be able to understand (and explain) things not only on a spiritual level, but also the practical level. These two books are doing just that for me in this moment!

It feels as if I’m in some sort of pressure cooker, taking in all this knowledge on a high speed, both on a spiritual level as on a practical level. I can see that what I’m learning is assisting me to get a deeper understanding of myself, my thoughts, my feelings and my behaviour and I know that this is exactly what I can assist others with as well.

As I’ve started to put my coaching more ‘out there’ (with a free webinar among other things) I’m learning so many new tools and ways of looking at things, understanding it from different perspectives. What I’m learning now is so useful in all areas of my life: for my business, as well as my relationship with my boyfriend, the way I experience life and how I can change this experience to feel even more connected to myself, to my passion and the excitement it brings to me. It seems as if in just a couple of days my experience of life has made a huge shift and I can’t wait to help more people to experience the same!

So I can highly recommend reading both of these books! Or if you prefer, I can teach you… Just watch my free webinar to start learning.

Living with uncertainty

(Quote by Eckhart Tolle in ‘A New Earth’)

Are you capable of living with uncertainty? Or are you always trying to have everything ‘under control’? As you might know – even if you don’t want to admit it to yourself – nothing is ever really ‘under control’. Each day, each moment something unexpected can happen and the whole world can be turned upside down. Just look at what is happening with the world right now, with this Corona virus. Something that no-one ever expected or anticipated upon in their planning, all of the sudden became our new reality. Everybody staying at home, not allowed to come close to others, lots of business having to close down.

If you are always trying to be in control and are afraid of losing control, you’re not capable of living at ease, of living in peace. As Eckhart Tolle puts it: “If uncertainty is unacceptable to you, it turns into fear. If it is perfectly acceptable, it turns into increased aliveness, alertness and creativity.”

How can you live with uncertainty? By realizing nothing is ever certain! By realizing nothing is ever under control, nothing will ever stay the same. “The only thing constant in life is change”. Learn how to live with that and you’ve got the key to happiness!

Interested in learning how to do that? Book your FREE discovery call with me.

Changes (channeled)

Changes, changes, changes! Lots and lots of changes. On many different levels.
Don’t be afraid, Dear One, for what is happening in the world right now.

You can see it as a global ‘update’. We are assisting people to grow, to expand, to change! To get out of their comfort zone, out of their comfort life – where they were hardly LIVING anymore – to start BEING present again, to start thinking, to start FEELING!

Becoming aware… of themselves, of their beliefs, of their ‘securities’. Nothing in life is secure, Dear One, nothing is sure, only death. And it seems most people have forgotten just that. They are afraid of death, so they don’t want to think about it. Forget it, as much as possible. But the fear of death – for themselves or their loved ones – is never far away. It’s always lingering inside. And when there’s danger it shows up, and they will try anything possible to avoid it, while knowing it is inevitable.

We are assisting, Dear One, in helping people remember that death is not their enemy! That death is nothing to fear about, rather just a part of the cycle of human life on Earth. No-one truly dies, Dear One, only their body is left behind.

We are assisting, Dear One, to help people work through their fears, to realise the 1 sure thing in their lives and that knowing that, accepting that will help them to truly LIVE again. To make different decisions, to change their lives into something more meaningful, more joyful, more ALIVE.

Be aware of these shifts, Dear One, and see how you can help. Spread your Light, BE there for the ones who need it. The world is waking up!

We are with you,
helping, assisting, supporting, awakening.

We love you.

– Channeled by Ankhana Sofia 29-4-2020

This too shall pass

“Nonresistance, nonjudgement and nonattachment are the three aspects of true freedom and enlightened living” – This touched me deeply when I read it last night in “A New Earth” (by Ekhart Tolle), as I could feel the Truth in it on such a deep level. I could also see that everything I’m struggling with in my own life, is because I am resisting, judging or attaching to something. Especially during this lockdown!

If you can live without resistance, without judgement and without attachment, you can BE with what is, no matter how it is. You don’t feel bad when a situation is difficult (in other words you’re not resisting or judging), because you know “This too shall pass”. You don’t feel worried something good might end (in other words you’re not attaching), because you know “This too shall pass”.

Living by the words “This too shall pass” (or “anicca” as they use in Vipassana) might sound at first as if you give up any bad AND good feelings about a situation. Which might make seem life useless… As everything will pass, either bad or good, what’s the point?!

That’s what I struggled with during and long after my Vipassana. I came out pretty depressed, not understanding why I should continue with my life as I didn’t understand the reason of it. If everything passes, what’s there to do?

Thanks to Ekhart Tolle’s words I found the deeper meaning, the deeper understanding and I hope I can bring that realisation to you as well. Or maybe just the start of it, the first opening…

Knowing that everything passes, doesn’t mean you’re not to enjoy everything! You can enjoy it even more, being completely in the moment, while you know it will pass, but for NOW you can take it in as much as you can. Right NOW you get to experience the beauty, the fun, the joy, the love, the excitement or whatever it is and you can take it in with all your senses. Without any attachment, without any resistance (i.e. feelings of unworthiness) and without any judgement (once you label it as “good”, you’ll most probably start to attach to it as well).

Knowing that everything passes, can help you through difficult times. You can accept them more easily, without resistance, without judgement and without attachment. And without all of that, it’s a lot easier to get through it. You can observe all that’s happening without getting caught up in it, without loosing yourself in it, without relating with it.

Knowing “This too shall pass” can help you in any situation, “good” or “bad” (try not to use those judgements!). It will make you more aware, more present and more grateful. Quite amazing I would say!

Where do you put your focus?

(Quote by Roy T. Bennett)

This quote came up on my phone this morning… Funnily nearly the same message as I shared yesterday on Facebook:

“Even if blame seems more than justified, as long as you blame others, you keep feeding the pain-body with your thoughts and remain trapped in your ego. There is only one perpetrator of evil on the planet: human unconsciousness. That realization is true forgiveness. With forgiveness, your victim identity dissolves, and your true power emerges – the power of Presence. Instead of blaming the darkness, you bring in the light.” – Eckhart Tolle in A New Earth

Where you put your focus, your energy flows… So focus on the light, focus on what you want to create, focus on a New Earth, focus on love, focus on joy, focus on happiness.

Which doesn’t mean you have to suppress your ‘negative’ emotions or feelings, become aware of them, let them be there. But be aware that you ARE not your thoughts or emotions. Observe them, let them be and when you’re ready, shift your focus again to the things you DO want.

You can do it!